If you can think ahead, say ten years, you will be in a different time and season than now. Now, you will have a different picture in mind. If so, then you need to ask yourself what you want your child to believe about you. What will they say about your style of parenting? What will they find irreplaceable, noteworthy, and be grateful for?
It is always better to parent one’s children (not everyone else’s). It is because no one can replace parents in the lives of their children. Parenting is not just a title; it can only be earned by raising children. As a woman, I know I am divinely called to be their “mum”. As a mother, I know how I handle this and how I make decisions every day that will shape their lives forever.
It is not always easy to build a strong relationship with our children but one way to get this done is by watching other parents. Below are four ways you can build a strong relationship with your child (no matter their age). This is based on four different parents I have interacted with.
4 ways to build a strong relationship with your child
1. Let your go-to phrase be “they can handle it” – I learned this from a mother of five children. She never wraps her kids up in cotton wool; she only gives them life exactly the way it was without hesitation or second thought herself. Children can control themselves and you don’t have to make excuses for your child’s bad behaviour, emotional outburst backchat, or tantrums. We don’t have to make all these unnecessary excuses for our children. We should understand that they are strong enough to cope with every situation they find themselves in life. Once we are in control of their lives, they will never grow the confidence to face challenges.
2. Let them choose if they want to wear shoes or not – I learned this from another mum who had a tough time with her middle child. She later got out of this hardship after following great advice from other mums. Children should be allowed to make their decisions because the outcome of these decisions will help change their future for the better. There are some decisions, however, that children will need help. One of which is when deciding whether to get into the car with their friend who has been drinking.
3. Accept them for who they are, not who you want them to be – I learned this from a mum who had to adjust her expectations significantly during the primary school years. This was due to her daughter having a learning disability. Parents should allow their children to reach their potential and grow into the adults they’d love to be. Care must be taken when disciplining our children. Better words and acceptance help them grow with strength.
4. Stay on the fun side of the island – I learned this from a mum who used to light up our waiting room. She does this with smile and jokes even though she has a son going through a tough time. She used to say the no one would love to be around someone who is not happy, not even our kids! As adults, we get bored because we have schedules that are jam-packed with adult cares and pressures.